Why does our hair define who we are?

For women, there is one thing that I think we can all agree on; our hair is our calling card.

Short, long, pixie or all the colours under the sun, we spend millions every year on perfecting our hair and wearing our individuality on our heads for all to see.

So, what if I said tomorrow, you will wake up and it will all be gone, and it might not ever come back?

For some women, this is a reality. Alopecia, side effects of chemo and even just your genetics leave women all over the world facing this dilemma and it doesn’t ever seem to be greeted with a positive attitude. So why are we so connected to our hair and why, when it goes, does a part of our personality seem to take a hit?

Asking friends of mine, it became clear very quickly that it had a lot to do with sexiness and femininity, that somehow without our hair, we lose what makes us women. I expected this answer. As a women that has always had long hair, I know that I feel sexier when it is swishing about than those days I have a greasy slick back, but it isn’t really any different from days with make-up and days without and I don’t think I’m less sexy without make up. In fact, my boyfriend tells me I’m sexier without!

Surely sexiness and femininity come from within, not from your hair? Some of the sexiest women I know have incredibly short hair and it was never the haircut that I would use to describe them if I had to. We all have that one friend that just oozes sex appeal and even manages to turn YOU on a little sometimes.

If I asked you why they were sexy, I bet you would reply with words like ‘confidence’ and ‘attitude’ and maybe you wouldn’t even be able to put your finger on it, they just have that ‘Je ne sais quoi’.

I doubt you would list hair, make up and clothes.

Because real sexiness, real feminism isn’t about what you look like or have or don’t have. It’s deeper than that.

Take my hair away and yes, I won’t lie, I would be gutted. We’ve all had that one haircut that didn’t go right and we have all felt that same stomach drop feeling of having to walk around with a look we didn’t want. I can only image what being told I was going to lose my hair would feel like. It is one thing to choose to shave your head and own that decision, it is quite another to have that choice taken away from you.

However, I think that whether it’s your choice or whether it’s something that you have thrust upon you, hair is just an extension of what makes us who we are. It in no way defines us as women and it in no way controls how sexy we can be or what we can accomplish.

What’s on the inside does that, and in the end that is what turns people on. I don’t think I have ever said to a guy I really liked that I wouldn’t date them because of their hair or lack of.

In my 30 years I have always found that beauty most certainly comes from within so whether you have hair or you don’t, go out and show the world that you are more than just a haircut. If you own it, everyone else will too.


4 thoughts on “Why does our hair define who we are?

  1. as much as I feel like makeup, hair, and clothes can be a great form of self-expression, I don’t think they “define” us as sexy or not, feminine or not, etc. I think, like you said, your true self comes from within and shows on the outside. That’s why bald women can be so beautiful, makeup-free flawed faces can be so stunning, and the body is a wonderland 😉

  2. I agree on the part where hair doesn’t define who we are cos who we are comes from other sources inside us… but I do have to admit that, whether it’s right or not, hair gives the first impact about ourselves to other people, who won’t know how you really are by just looking at you. I’m just talking about “first impression” here.

  3. I love this! I’ve never been one to care too much about my looks but so much of our culture is defined by looks that I think people need to take a step back and really look at what is important.

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