Lady gardens. The bearded clam. Beaver. Pussy. All names for the vagina and more specifically, the hairy bit of the vagina.
Never before have there been so many different way to describe it and never has there been more talk about it. Just in my life alone it has been the subject of conversation more than a few times and like anything that catches my imagination, I felt that I had to write about it.
Because you see, even though it is talked about, it is never really talked about. It’s skirted around with lovely, fluffy, female friendly words, or after a little pause or cough of embarrassment like it is something to be ashamed of and I think this has a lot to do with the amount of hair it has growing on it or the lack of it.
My first conversation was about the lack of it.
I’m off to Barcelona in June and as such, certain areas of my body will HAVE to be hairless.
Not just because I feel like others expect it and if I wasn’t , would be ridiculed by passers by, but also because I would rather die than have spiders legs sticking out the edge of my bikini or waving about under my arms. In a chat with some of my girl friends, who are also coming away with me, the subject turned to holiday preparations.
Who’s taking the biggest suitcase?
Can eyelash extensions stand the heat?
What about sunbeds, is anyone using sunbeds?
Then it turned to waxing. It seemed that they were all already waxed and just had to make sure they made their next appointment. I discovered at this point that there was only me and one other girl that seemed to not already be waxed down there. I have never been to a salon to have it done for two reasons.
I have always been quite capable of keeping my froo fuzz free on my own and the idea of getting my vagina out and having another women poke about down there whilst talking to me about my holiday plans has never been an appealing thought.
Jesus, I don’t even like small talk at the HAIRDRESSER and that’s just my head she’s messing about with! Sure, I’ve been on holiday before and I have always tried to manage it with razors, but the heat and the sea have always made me get a rash or end up sore so have covered up in shorts.
Not what I want for this holiday at all. So after the stern advice of one of my no bullshit friends
‘Man up the lot of you n get hollywood wax haha. Fuck am I ever shaving my minnie again, been getting waxed for two years and barely anything grows back now’
I decided that it was time to grow up and get it done. But all this talk got me thinking. Why do I care so much about the waxing part?
Why, as women do we care so much about the hair in the first place? Society shows us baby smooth women all the time, not a hair in sight but that is not reality. Even models have hair!
Remember when Julia Roberts got her hairy arm pit out at an awards ceremony?
No one cared about who won that night, just whether or not she should have shaved and what kind of statement was she trying to make. Why is it such a big deal when women have hair in certain places?
Does it come from men and their expectations or is it a more internal female taboo that none of us can cut each other some slack with? Who made the rule that men can be hairy but us women have to shave, wax, epilate and thread our way to smoothness before we can even think about leaving the house? Whoever that person was, is a dick. So I thought I’d ask some men what they think and see if I could get to the bottom of this ridiculous taboo.
“Love a bushy lady garden but that could be my age :)”
“I don’t like lady garden hair generally. I’ll put up with it if it’s trimmed well.. But if I had the choice I’d bic that shit! Nothing better than a smooooth bit of meow meow!”
” I happen to know a certain good mate of mine loves a big old bush.. Quite a lot of blokes I know do.. I’m not too fussed, as long as she’s nice “
The opinion seemed divided on preference, however the underlying theme from them all was they didn’t really care, although I got the feeling from their answers that they were only looking at it from a sexual stand point.
I wonder what they would say if I asked them how they felt about seeing pubes sticking out of bikinis on the beach or an arm pit bush staring at them in the street or on the tube.
“Ok, the lady garden, from an aesthetic point of view I don’t mind a bit of hair because it’s womanly and not like a little girl. From a practical point of view a little less hair for me is better because it allows me to be able to find and feel what I want with out getting caught and tangled. However, arm pit hair I find repulsive, but a tiny bit of leg stubble every now and then I can tolerate when there hasn’t been the time to shave. Ultimately though the amount of hair on a woman has never caused me to judge them, their character, or their cleanliness, it’s up to the individual, but I prefer streamline.“
On the flip side, every single girl I talked to about this said they hated hair, wanted it gone and it was only on very rare occasions in the middle of winter with zero possibility of sex that they would let it grow.
“It’s uncomfortable when it grows too long”
“Errgh! Unhygienic and gross! Smooth is so much cleaner!”
“I wouldn’t dream of going to the beach with curlies! What would people think!”
So if we aren’t being forced by men that seem to not care about hair, what is stopping us from letting it all go au natural?
The short answer is nothing. The real answer is when a woman lets her hair grow and gets it out for all to see, they are thought of in a certain way.
Unclean. Unkept. Untidy.
And there is always the ridiculous reason that people see pubes or armpit hair and can’t help but giggle and being giggled at is not something anyone wants, especially when you are in a bikini!
So it seems that the taboo comes from everywhere, not just men or women or the media. We are all guilty in some way of perpetuating this ridiculous idea that women have no hair and shouldn’t have any hair when underneath, we all know that just isn’t true.
Maybe one day, women will be free from the razor and the waxing beautician and the world will be accepting of a few strands of hair in certain places but for now it seems that it is not going to go away.
I’ll be one of those helping to carry on the hairless brigade and will be booking in for a wax before Barcelona. I’ll let you know how I get on! Like what you’ve just read? Subscribe by email and receive more like this right in your inbox 🙂